At about noon on Sunday the pain turned into spasms. Ex-fucking-cruciating spasms. I took one muscle relaxant. Now these things are a pain in themselves. They are very slow to go to work and even slower to flush from your system. So of course, the first one had zero effect on the spasms. I tried laying down on my stomach, my side, my back, sitting up, standing, everything but standing on my head. I took another pill. Wandered around the house in circles for an hour. Laid down for just a minute. Three hours later I woke up feeling like my head was wrapped in a toasty flannel blanket. And my tongue.
The spasms were gone of course. And as usual it took a full 24 hours before I could escape the groggy haze I was in. Now here’s the kicker. Those pills expired a couple years ago.
I have heard of people getting high on muscle relaxants like this and I just have no clue how or why. It’s definitely not a good buzz, it just makes you so groggy you can barely stand, let alone function. Why the hell would you want that feeling?
When I was taking Adderall for my ADHD, there was a sort of cool, smooth feeling riding just behind my eyes. Everything in my tangled head just straightened out and it was a sensation that I looked forward to. But the side effects were pure hell for me and my wife. So I went off the drug, never to return. And I never had any craving for that sensation again.
I suspect that I am just not wired for drug abuse. Odd, considering that the majority of the music I listen to is somewhat druggy. It was either made by druggy musicians, meant for a drugged audience, or the musicians are so old they’re on a plethora of statins, antihypertensives, and boner meds. Me, I’ll just sticky to one beer every other night, served at 45-50 degrees.