We’re….Off to Kill the Wizard

I suck at gaming. Couldn’t get Skyrim to work at all for me and now the lousy Steam login won’t function at all. Baldur’s gate keeps throwing me into some advanced level that gets me killed instantly. And despite hours of flailing about, I never could get out of the Alienage in Dragon Age: Origins.

Now I have an almost desperate need to play these things. I was just a little too old when gaming started and never had the cash for a gaming console to get started. Even if I would have had the cash, I feared that I would get so caught up in it my life would be ruined. I’ve heard too many stories from friends who played all night and showed up at work with no brain cells left. I need my brain cells and my time is always precious. So my skills are beyond rudimentary. It’s frustrating because I love the idea of playing in a fantasy world, to swing a sword, sling a spell, seduce a slattern. I see these commercials of dragon slaying adventure and think, “I’d love to try that”. And when I do my ineptitude is soul-shattering. I bought an Xbox controller to work the games but it only collected dust.

Tonight, Christmas night, as Carjo napped with the dog, I figured I’d give Dragon Age a try again. Last time it locked up after the botched wedding. I had run around the elf yard for three hours and had nothing to show for it. So I girded my loins and waded in. Of course, the controller didn’t work so I had to try to make do with the keyboard. And this time it worked. I got through to the wedding ceremony, got to the palace, and leveled up, up, up as the body count grew higher. I had some trouble negotiating the maze of the Arl’s estate but I found my human foe and my elfin bride, slew the former and never got to see the later naked. But I won. And then of course got cast out of the city because elves can’t slay the son of the Arl. Which is the goal of course.

But the important thing is that I actually did it, and in less than a couple hours. Now I’ve joined the Grey Wardens and will no doubt be covered with blood again the next time I get a couple hours to kill. And believe, killing is good.

About jeroljohnson

I guess I'm the crying on the inside kind of clown
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