In Case You Had the Misfortune of Watching This…

TrueBlood030PamEric

For those not into bad dramas or vampires, the HBO seriesTrue Blood had its grand finale Sunday night. For the first two seasons it was a silly but entertaining. Then the wretched and inexorable decline began. It was such a breath-taking level of suck but this season was the worst, with a finale so devoid of flair, continuity, and passion. There were a host of things wrong with the finale, particularly how agency was taken from the show’s main character, the incredibly annoying Sookie “Mary Sue” Stackhouse. The resolution of the plot concerning Eric and Pam (see photo above, long may they reign) was fine but overall the show dragged itself across the finish line with nothing more than a hint of what it was. On a show that once existed as a metaphor for acceptance of alternative lifestyles, they gave their heroine an insipid 1950s ending that Beverly Cleaver would have found cloying. Talk about betraying your audience. 

But on a couple web forums I’ve been on some fans are trying to make sense of it, to parse some reason from the bloody remains. It’s much like the twisted way that Star Wars fans try to work around George Lucas’ misunderstanding of the word parsecs. No. You can’t try to reverse-engineer a shit sandwich to make it taste like pizza fresh from the oven. As I said on one forum, trying to make sense of this and that on True Blood is not possible. True Blood operates on a kind of logic only found in the worst of soap operas. Logic so devoid of reason and sense it makes even Uwe Boll and Roland Emmerich say, “that shit’s fucked up”. Plot holes so large Roberto Orci, Damon Lindelof and Alex Kurtzman can only shake their heads in admiration. This is ineptitude on a scale that makes Italian bureaucrats weep. One can only step back and consider its magnitude.

That said, I would pay an advance ticket for anything that would feature Kristin Bauer van Straten and Alexander Skarsgård (again, photo above). Unless it were directed by Michael Bay…

About jeroljohnson

I guess I'm the crying on the inside kind of clown
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