It’s a Very Spooky Month

Dyer's Eve

Carjo loves horror movies. The trouble is she’ll watch anything, two star pieces of crap on Netflix, brain dead clunkers on the Chiller channel. It’s not that she has no taste, she is perfectly aware that most of these are celluloid scat. But finding a really good horror movie is difficult. I cannot think of a film genre that is a more perfect proof of Sturgeon’s Law. In fact I think it goes beyond Sturgeon, the ratio of crap has got to be 95%. The plots have holes you could herd a mutant crocodile through, the acting and directing are about as thin as the heroine’s wet t-shirt, and the effects about as believable Area 51. Still she watches, searching for the gems in the pile of coal.

October is a better time to watch horror but not in the movie theaters. No, the crap the studios will be pumping out will be just as bad as the rest. I see the prequel to The Conjuring is running below 30% on Rotten Tomatoes this morning. No, you have to head over to Turner Classic Movies for the good stuff. Every Thursday they’ll be running classic ghost stories and while they’ve been known to show some mediocre films, their filters are better than most of cable. So that’s where we will be every Thursday this month, watching ghosts in black and white and hoping to catch a gem or two.

About jeroljohnson

I guess I'm the crying on the inside kind of clown
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One Response to It’s a Very Spooky Month

  1. I love the phrase “celluloid scat.” Haha! There was a single-season reality show on the CW a few years back called “Scream Queens” and it was a group of aspiring actresses trying to land a part in an upcoming horror franchise. It was great fun to watch as they moved them from haunted mansion to insane asylum to acting with a green screen and did a lot to show me how incredibly difficult it can be to try to act in a horror movie. The situations they are asked to portray can be so outlandish! As well as outside the scope of the experience of the very often teenaged protagonists. One of the hardest challenges on the show in fact was when they had to present “altered states” and they were all under 18 and had never been drunk in their lives, and butchered their attempts at showing it.

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