On Stats, Spam, and Tricia Helfer’s Buns


Sometimes I wonder just who is reading this damn thing. I mean some of you I do know, either through actual real world relationships or ones built online. It’s a good way for friends and relations that are quite a distance from here keep track of what me and my wife are up to. Some of the people who follow this blog are bloggers that I follow and I appreciate that sense of community. But then there’s this nebulous mass of mysterious numbers that pops up whenever I check the stats for this blog or my other web page (http://www.jeroljohnson.com/). Then there are internationals, visitors from countries where I have connections (Sweden, the UK) and countries that I have no idea what they are here for.

I post on a variety of topics on this blog and it is always interesting what gets hits and what doesn’t. There appears to be some that read my posts on writing. There is a dedicated following for any post tagged “cats”. My commentaries on the state of science fiction and fantasy get a fair amount of traffic, though I am convinced that half the reason my review of Ascension got traffic is because it included the phrase “Tricia Helfer’s Ass”. Ms Helfer is a fine actress but apparently her rear end has a following of its own. Who knows what kind of traffic I’d see if I had actually posted a photo of those golden globes. A post from a while ago about “grimdark” fantasy still gets some hits because it was linked on a blog that gets far more traffic than I’m used to. And there are other posts that are dead in the water. Posts about the dog go nowhere because it is true that cats rule the Internet. Excuse me, kittehs ruwl teh Interwebs. My kvetching about weather, mowing the lawn, the saga of my ankle, and all the rest get page views but only average and I’m OK with that.

Then there’s the spammers. The reason I left Live Journal and moved to WordPress was I got tired of all the spam comments I had to deal with on LJ. WordPress does a phenomenal job of filtering spam and all I have to do is empty the trash now and then. Most of these spammers are selling fashion knockoffs (Louis Vutton appears to be quite popular) and their sole comment is “nice articles” or “thank you for the share”. Some use an automated comment that results is something like this…

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today,
yet I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is}
pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view},
if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers
made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much
more|a lot more} useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|

…and it goes on forever, paragraph after paragraph of unedited automated trash. But it’s all hidden behind the curtain, unseen by you and only viewed by me if and when I want to check the virtual garbage can. Thank you WordPress.

It’s my vain hope that someone who might be reading this might be in some way connected to the publishing industry but I doubt that. I’ve been blogging for quite a while now and have never been contacted by an agent or editor without me initiating it. But still I keep typing. It’s pretty fun to do this, especially early in the day because it gets my fingers loosened up and my mind used to the idea of coming up with words to enter on a blank screen. It is somewhat of an ego thing as well. I can look at the screen or the stats page and say, “I did that, I wrote something that people read.” But in truth I would do it regardless, chronicling whatever fool thought is going through my head and by now you realize a lot of fool thoughts go through my head. Here’s to continuing to make a fool of myself.

About jeroljohnson

I guess I'm the crying on the inside kind of clown
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